It's a Monday evening and I've spent my night in front of my computer screen viewing Hanson videos, pinning crap to my 16 different boards on Pinterest, chatting on Facebook and watching The Golden Girls. Good news of the day: I signed my lease and got the key to my house today. First big girl house ever and I'm completely excited and scared shitless, at the same time. Holy moly, everything is changing! I know that it's a good thing though because of the fear that I feel inside of me. Fear is what makes the heart start pumping and the wheels start turning. Everything gets spun into motion and things begin to happen. Without the fear, I'd just be a sitting duck. Nay, I'd be a 24-going-on-25-year-old still living at my mom's house. Yikes. No wonder I don't have a boyfriend.
C'est la vie. I am embracing the fear and even though I'll probably be a broke ass for a while, I'll at least be happy, on my own, and enjoying life. I graduated college in August and thought that I'd find a super awesome career-type job that would be paying me tons of money and I could do anything... I've come to find that's not the case. After months of searching for a decent job I've found myself working at a restaurant and doing intern work. To be quite honest, I cannot really see myself at a corporation, sitting in some cubicle doing mundane tasks that make me want to rip my hair out of my head. That would seriously just suck the life out of me. I see my father working at a job that he's done exceptionally well at, but he's put his blood, sweat and tears into it, has worked his life away, and is completely unhappy and wants to just curl up in a ball and die when he comes home each night. It's the truth. I know this because that's exactly what he has told me. Holy moly I do NOT want to find myself at 57 years of age living the same type of lifestyle. No offense to my dad, but geeze louise! We only have one life on this earth and I plan to enjoy it, damn it!
I'm working my butt off right now and I plan to continue working hard and working toward bigger and better things. I know it's going to take a while but it's a long trek up the mountain to the top. I kind of like to look at it as any other chapter in my life; You go to kindergarten, you start middle school, you start high school, you start college. Each new beginning you're scared out of your mind of the unknown. You want to give up. You want to quit. But there's always someone there to console you and help you stay strong and continue on. You graduate from each level and you feel a sense of accomplishment. You're on top of the world, until the next step where you have to start at the bottom again. But nothing is put in front of you that you cannot handle. You're a strong individual and if you got through all of the other steps in life, you'll get through this one as well. With hard work, effort, and a strong sense of self and confidence, everything will work out and you will accomplish your goals.
...Hmm, sounds like something that I should continue telling myself every day! I can't believe that I just spout that out. I must have had my guardian angel telling my fingers what to type because I didn't think I had that in me. Ha!
Anywho, point is, I'm planning on enjoying life and if I'm broke for the next few years, so be it. As long as I'm living and learning and growing as an individual, it'll be alright with me.
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