Reflection

As much as I try to be strong, occasionally I fail miserably. I try to be there for everyone when they need me. I try to be happy and optimistic daily, however in the grand scheme of things, one cannot possibly do this day in and day out. Some days, you just need to have a day of sorrow. A day to reflect. A day of maybe a few tears and just lounging on the couch or in bed and watching movies by yourself. But then you decide you need to get out of your rut and see the outdoors. Socialize. Be a normal person again...

But when you lose a loved one or two within a year, especially around the holidays, it is hard to recover from quickly. You wake up everyday and try to get on with your daily routine and activities, but when night falls, you're left alone to think of what you have lost and how much it actually has impacted your life. This is when you must remember all of the good times that you had with those people. How happy they made you when you spent time with them. The feelings that erupted within you when you saw them, spoke with them, hugged them... Those memories will always be with you where ever you go in your life. And although you may never get to physically feel their touch, or hear their kind and loving voice and words they so eloquently spoke to you your whole life, they will always hold a place in memory. In your heart. In your dreams. All around you. Forever.

Times may be rough, you may cry uncontrollably, you may not want to speak to anyone, you will be angry, sad, heartbroken, upset, you may not understand why, you'll have a million questions to ask and no answers for them, you'll want to throw things, yell, and hug everyone... But always remember this: They loved you. And you loved them. And everyone around you is experiencing the same feelings of loneliness, heartache, depression.. But look between the lines. It may be unclear at first, but if you can see all of the people that you have been blessed with, all of the people who love you and you love back, you'll know that the ones you lost were the ones who brought you all of these wonderful people you surround yourself with, day in and day out. They are the ones who brought you into this world and raised you to become the extraordinary people you are today. Rejoice. Be happy. Live your life the way they would have wanted you to live it.