Britney Spears: Desperate Attempt at a Comeback, Throwback to the 90's

I didn't realize that techno/electro-pop/dubstep was back in the music swing. I thought it died out ten years ago. Apparently I was wrong because today I ran across a new song by none other than the 'great' Britney Spears. Okay, I cannot tell a lie. When I was 12 years old I was a Britney fan. I acquired all her albums and rocked out in my room, hairbrush in hand as my microphone, and danced around like 'the little white girl with no groove' that I was. It was cute. But that was over ten years ago. I haven't danced around in my room to Britney in a loooong time. Now, if you asked me about dancing to Rhianna's "Only Girl" in my room, I'd have to confess I did that two weeks ago. Yes, I am 23. Yes, I realize that it is silly. Yes, I realize I just admitted this to the world. Yes, I am perfectly okay with it. 

Okay, so I am giving a listen to Britney's new song for the second time right now...

First thought - It makes me wanna fist pump. 

Second thought - "If I said I want your body now, would you hold it against me?" 

Um, where have I heard that line before? 

Third thought - Britney's voice sounds more whiny than what I remember...

Fourth thought - Why am I spelling out my numbers?

Fifth thought - "You feel like paradise and I need a vacation now" ...who wrote this? GENIUS. Hence the sarcasm? 

Sixth thought - This song sounds like it's from the 90's. It could have been airing when "I'm Blue" by Eiffel 65 was popular. And I would have chosen to listen to "I'm Blue" over Britney's song, any day. 

And now it's over. I cannot believe I just listened to that song twice in the past five minutes. All I can say is that if you're wanting to reminisce of the good ol' days, you want to fist pump, or you want to wear blue glitter eye shadow, bright yellow pleather pants & a pink fluffy sleeveless belly shirt, then this is the jam for you!!

I hate to say it but I'm going to anyway because I don't really care much: Britney, I think your ship has sailed. You've produced your best (not sure what is classified as "best") work. Tend to your children. Your music career has seen better days. Good luck. 

Unfortunately, a month from now I will probably be saying how great Britney's song is after a long night downtown filled with Mexican martini's. Damn you alcohol for inhibiting my abilities to detect trashy music from the good. Ah well. Can't win 'em all.